Ashlynn Bacon's Blog

  This is probably the last blog that I will post, but I have learned lots from typing out these blogs. I hope that my blogs have helped others that have read them. One of my favorite things that I have learned is how much parents need to be active role models in their children’s lives. There is a saying that goes – “the safer and more welcome a child feels, the weirder they act”. I have seen how true this is. The quieter a kid sometimes means that they don’t always feel loved. In contrast, a kid that runs around being loud and laughing all the time is one that feels much more love. This can also harm or help a child's curiosity. There was a study done with kids and what happens if there is yelling or arguing in front of them. The kids are first given a box that has something like a toy. This is before there is yelling or arguing. The child is very curious and almost immediately opens the box to see what is inside. Afterward, the people studying reset the test. Before they put the ...

  Who doesn't like having fun? Actually, roughhousing is a perfect thing for kids. It helps them use up some energy, which can calm them, and it is good for their development. I can see just how true this is. Having contact, eye contact too, with their parents is crucial. Having eye contact with parents and other adults helps them to gain confidence to talk to people and sometimes helps them with shyness. Contact with parents is needed too. Little kids are very huggy and lovey with their parents and for good reason. It actually helps their central nervous system develop.  So pretty much what I am saying is you can never give kids too many hugs and kisses. Even just holding hands with kids is good for them. It’s weird to think that this is true, but I know it is.  When I was a child, I got a few hugs every now and again. I knew my parents loved me, that was out of the question, but I always felt something was missing. When I moved and met a couple of other families in my n...

  What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved! Dad's jokes are so dumb but so funny. Why is having your father present in your life important? There are many reasons, from being a provider to being a comedic relief.  Men usually get a better paycheck, meaning they are the main provider most times. This is not always true, but we are taught that men should do their part by providing, while women take care of the home. The way that a man’s brain is wired is very one-track- minded, which is good for many jobs, so they can focus on their job. Women, on the other hand, think about many things at the same time. It can be good to remember things and check on the children. Again, this is not the same for everyone. The dictionary definition of a father is“ a man in relation to his child/children” but they are so much more. They teach us many things, from how to change a tire to being brave and squishing the yucky spider in the kitchen. They teach us how to drive a car...

  Why is communication important? First off, what is communication? Communication can be the words you choose or the tone of your voice, but it can also be nonverbal, like body language. The words you decide to use and the tone of your voice that you use with those words can help you verbally express how you feel. However, your body language speaks volumes more than words can. The way you stand or how you rest your arms, but the biggest factor is your facial expressions. For many people, they don’t always realize that they are giving themselves away with the face that they make. The way we use our communication will also help or destroy our relationships. In my experience, there are people who don’t speak up until it's too late. What I mean by that is that people don’t express their feelings, and they just let it build up until it blows up in someone’s face. Emotional build up can lead to an outburst and then fighting. If we don’t regularly express our emotions with our partner, th...

  Emotions are a powerful thing. Sometimes they are too powerful, and they control us, how we react. Since our emotions can control how we react, we need to find ways to stay calm and not let our emotions take over. Just letting your emotions influence you is like going on autopilot. Anger, for example, is a very strong emotion. When people get into arguments, anger can rise quickly, especially if it is something very important. When we are angry, we say things that we don’t always mean, which can break relationships, both friends and couples. Now, if you mix anger with sadness, things will get even more crazy. Not only do you have words of hurt, but now there is crying and screaming on top of it. This can go the other way too. There is a quote from David Esabwa that says “Do not make promises when you are happy, either way, never make decisions when you are angry.” When we are happy, we should not make promises. Why? This can lead to unwanted problems if we can’t follow through. W...

  How do we teach our children the difference between good and evil? How do we ourselves know what is good and what is evil? When Adam and Eve were brought to the Garden of Eden, they were told not to partake of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. However, they were also commanded to go and replenish the Earth.  Satan tempted Eve, got her to partake of the fruit, then she told Adam to as well. Both partook of the fruit and were cast out of the Garden of Eden. Satan again tried to tempt them to follow him, but they didn’t, they wanted to listen to Heavenly Father. Heavenly Father helped to guide them to what is good and to stay away from what is evil. Just like Heavenly Father helped Adam and Eve, He will help us to teach our children. In some ways, it was easier to keep children away from what is evil, they didn’t have access like today’s kids do. Nonetheless, Satan works hard to get us to fall into temptation. Today we have technology. It is a wonderful...

  Mawage is what bwings us together today. Who doesn't love the Princess Bride? Such a great movie, but it’s the quote I want to focus on. Most people say that marriage is “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship”. This is just the dictionary term though. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Through marriage, they strive to do their best together in life, together. However, many people think that marriage needs to be delayed. For many reasons, all seems valid. People say marriage needs to be delayed. You need to make sure you have a stable job, have a stable home, don’t get serious with anyone until you have these things, until you’re truly ready for that big step. For many people, they say this is to deter any rash decisions, which is good, but we also need to incorporate our Heavenly Father in what would be good for us to do.   Again, those all "seem" like good ideas, and for the most part they are, but to me, many...

  What makes a good date?  Well let's see, are we talking about the people going on the date, or the activity for the date? I’ll start with the people on the date.  To be a good date, what does that mean? Well, for many people it can mean that you talk to the other person, you are nice, and you try to have fun with the activity. On a date, each person should only pay attention to their date, not any other people. It seems to me though that many people are more interested in scrolling on their phone than talking to other people. It’s easier to scroll than to ask people out on a date. This can lead to more hanging out than dates. It’s easier for people to just hang out and scroll on their phones or watch a movie rather than talking to others. Hanging out does not get what you need to know, like a date will.  Hanging out is a group of people that just chill in someone's apartment. They don’t really do anything, and everyone bounces around to other people, not really foc...

  Imagine this, you worked tirelessly on your model of the Solar system, perfecting every little detail. You stayed up all night before it was due, making sure you had everything ready for your presentation. Oh, no! Your alarm didn’t go off, you're going to miss the bus. Oh, good you barely made it. You get to school, and all settled in your seat when the teacher calls for everyone to bring up their science projects. Realization hits, you forgot your science project at home. You start to panic, but then you remember something important, your mom is home. You calm down and ask the teacher if you can call her, and in no less than 15 minutes she hand-delivers your beautiful solar system. I wish I could have gotten this. My mom had to work, so I never got to have this luxury. If I forgot something at home, I would just have to do without it. Many of my teachers would ask if I wanted to call, but it wasn’t any use since no one was home. To say the least, I had to take a few late grades....

  Have you ever had to move? It can be the best thing, new opportunities, new people, new places to see. It is also really tough, finding housing you can afford, making new friends that are actually nice, and figuring out new schedules. I was born and lived in Montana for a few years before I moved to Idaho, and I was super excited about moving, but I was leaving everything I knew. It was a struggle to get used to all the people. I came from a very small town and there was only one other person in my grade. (yes, tiny school) I had to get used to so many more people than I was normally around. I’m not a big people person, but it was a blessing that I moved. Now I can get along with many more people than I would have in Montana. Trying to move belongings is another struggle. Someone mentioned during our class discussion that many families are unable to bring many things with them, most can only bring the clothes on their back. In a way, I can relate to my move. Now, obviously, bei...

  How might we be hindering our children from our own past generational trauma without realizing it? Everyone in one form or another has generational trauma. It could be from the way we cook, or the way we react to stress. Generational trauma can affect anyone we connect with. We can pass it on to our children or even influence our friends. Granted, not everything is a trauma. Even such things as traditions can impact our future. Many people don’t know how they’re impacting their children, by keeping up with these generational things. For example, it is said that children whose parents go through divorce are likely to go through divorce because they don’t know any difference. They haven’t seen another way. Which in turn only shows their children that divorce is a “normal” thing.  This makes the cycle continue until someone decides to break it.  What children see is how they react to things, their learned behaviors. Like the good country song by Rodney Atkins “Watching You...

  I came across some interesting topics this week about different family dynamics. What I found interesting was the study about whether children in homo families were the same as hetero families. I was reading a meta-analysis of this study and upon further investigation found that not many of the studies actually did what they claimed. In the studies they didn’t really study many hetero families, and instead studied single parent families. Children from single parent families can already have disadvantages, so it seems unfair to study these families then say that children raised in homo families were better off. Of course they are! I’m not in any way saying that all children raised in single parent families are worse off, I mean I was pretty much raised by a single parent, and I’m doing great, but it's the fact that the researchers didn’t use normal families like they said they were going to use them. Even with this knowledge that even though children raised in homo families are be...

 HI, my name is Ashlynn Bacon. I am currently enrolled at BYU-I. I am starting this blog for my Family Relations class. I hope to learn lots in this class, as well as sharing it on this blog.