Does having fun do good?

 Who doesn't like having fun? Actually, roughhousing is a perfect thing for kids. It helps them use up some energy, which can calm them, and it is good for their development. I can see just how true this is.

Having contact, eye contact too, with their parents is crucial. Having eye contact with parents and other adults helps them to gain confidence to talk to people and sometimes helps them with shyness. Contact with parents is needed too. Little kids are very huggy and lovey with their parents and for good reason. It actually helps their central nervous system develop. 

So pretty much what I am saying is you can never give kids too many hugs and kisses. Even just holding hands with kids is good for them. It’s weird to think that this is true, but I know it is. 

When I was a child, I got a few hugs every now and again. I knew my parents loved me, that was out of the question, but I always felt something was missing. When I moved and met a couple of other families in my new ward, they all loved giving many hugs. At first, it weirded me out as I was not used to that, but after a little while, I started looking forward to those people and their many hugs. Now, I too love giving hugs, and I am so grateful to my ward family for all the many hugs. I didn’t realize how deprived of contact I was before, but now I can’t go back.

Kids need attention, lots of attention. When they don’t get the attention they require, they act out and misbehave. This is what you would call mistaken approaches. Some of these approaches might seem like rebellion, controlling others, revenge, avoidance, or undue risk taking. There are ways that can help correct this though.

As a parent, these few lessons can help. Have your child contribute with chores and cleaning up. It might be slower than you like, but it can help your kid feel like they belong in the family. Try to insist that your kids do chores, but don’t pay them for doing them. This can give an impression of only doing things for money. Give them responsibilities. This can help them to be hard workers. One last thing that children need to be taught is how to forgive.

Many people that I have met in my life did not learn some of these lessons. Many still act like children, acting out in bad behavioral ways. It isn’t entirely their fault, but they could have tried to do something to help them through those struggles.

I am grateful that my parents taught me some of these things. I feel that I can better forgive people since I was taught to just turn in the other direction. Furthermore, I didn’t really have any bullying incidents, but the few that I did, I just ignored them, and they stopped after a while. I am also able to be more responsible. Living on a ranch gave me many opportunities to learn this, from feeding orphaned calves to helping move wood in the winter.

I hope for my children's sake that I can effectively teach them these skills. They are extremely important to be able to succeed in life. Not just in the workplace, but also when they live with roommates and even when they are preparing for marriage. What I have learned that is crucial for me when I become a parent is to lead by example, monkey see monkey do. Also, that many hugs and kisses are good for children.