The wrap up

 This is probably the last blog that I will post, but I have learned lots from typing out these blogs. I hope that my blogs have helped others that have read them. One of my favorite things that I have learned is how much parents need to be active role models in their children’s lives.

There is a saying that goes – “the safer and more welcome a child feels, the weirder they act”. I have seen how true this is. The quieter a kid sometimes means that they don’t always feel loved. In contrast, a kid that runs around being loud and laughing all the time is one that feels much more love. This can also harm or help a child's curiosity.

There was a study done with kids and what happens if there is yelling or arguing in front of them. The kids are first given a box that has something like a toy. This is before there is yelling or arguing. The child is very curious and almost immediately opens the box to see what is inside. Afterward, the people studying reset the test. Before they put the box in front of the child, they have two people argue and yell for a few minutes. Now, when the box is put before the child, the kid does not want to open it. The child becomes much more quiet and secluded, almost sad.

I am not saying that everything will go perfect in marriage, but more so that we need to do our best to not argue in front of children. When kids get caught up in arguments, many believe that it is because of them. Obviously, this is not true, but it can be hard for many to accept that. I still struggle with this myself, even though nothing I ever did was why some things in my life fell apart. I know this though. Being an active parent is needed for a child to succeed. 

Being an active parent does not just mean making sure the house is clean, and the kids are fed. It is so much more than just making sure the bare minimum is done. It is being there for as many activities they do, cheering them on. Furthermore, it’s playing imaginary games and helping them with projects.

It isn’t natural to do this. In fact, it is downright hard to do all these things, and it can be overwhelming. However, being natural won’t cut it. We need to be supernatural. It will be hard to do this, but in the end it will be so worth it. 

I have seen families that are able to be supernatural, and I hope that when I become a parent that I can do half as well as they do. This family calls each other at least every other day, keeping their family ties as close as they can. I know that with my parents I need to call more, but that's a topic for another day. 

Another one of my favorite lessons is that we need to always have time for our spouses. This is very important to help build the relationship and keep it strong. Now this can get harder to do as you start to have kids, babies take up a lot of time and you always seem too tired. Even if you and your spouse are exhausted from kids or work, make sure you try to save a bit of time for your spouse. Your spouse will hopefully take notice of your efforts and be willing to spend time with you. Set boundaries with your kids, they will be OK without constant supervision. I wish luck to everyone. No matter what happens, keep going.